Breathe for Tomorrow
by Meever
Summary: [AkuRoku, AU] Every now and then, he could hear the shuffle of feet behind him, a murmur of sympathy, and then nothing. They came, cried, then went home and were thankful that it wasn’t them. 'At least it wasn't me.'
1. I fall

**Author Notes**: It's been a while since I've actually written anything. XD So ya know, be nice. D: I guess this first chapter can be for Nyohoho. XD Since, she helped with a few things. :

**Disclaimer**: No words are needed.

**Warnings**: Yaoi, slash, boy on boy. A bit of Roxaphilism. xD What more do you want? Jeez.

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Roxas hated funerals.

Of course, the weather never gave into the mood. Or what the mood could have been. No one came to mourn; no one came to see the pair off to the after-life. A few cousins, a few aunts and uncles, close friends of the family; all to see how the blonde could possibly feel, how he was, what he was going to do, how sorry they felt for him.

And then, their lives went on, just as they should have.

No one mourned for too long, he made a mental note. Every now and then, he could hear the shuffle of feet behind him, a murmur of sympathy, and then nothing. They came, cried, then went home and were thankful that it wasn't them.

_At least it wasn't me._

And who was to blame them? Life moved on, they didn't need to mope over the fact that a 14-year-old boy had been left parentless, homeless, without money. He certainly didn't blame them. So instead, he opted for sitting on the ground where his parents now resided due to the recent events, the sun shining on his blond head and making it seem like a halo was hovering over his head.

It was truly their own fault that they ended up there, he concluded. Though it made him sad, he figured that they didn't know it was going to end up this way, and if they did, they certainly were concerned about him, and they hoped he would find a way to pave a road to his now blurry-looking future.

And that thought made him feel at ease, at least while he sat there on the warm ground.

'What am I going to do now…?' the thought had crossed his mind billions of times, and although no one asked him that, the question was there in their eyes. No one had offered him a place to stay; they figured he was just another screw up; another one messed up in the drug business, just like the ones in the ground.

Even when his cousin Larxene, whom was two years older than him, came with her parents who wanted to express their pity, she stood next to the sitting blonde, staring at the tombstones.

"They deserved it."

When those words left her mouth, and the last syllable rolled off her tongue, Roxas sent an icy glare at her.

"I mean, come on! The pigs were bound to catch up what they were doin'." A small smirk crossed her face, disdain written all over to accompany the smirk, adding a bit of a different effect. "I'm glad _my_ parents aren't stupid enough to get messed up in the drug business. But then again, they went to college, and know how to support a _real_ family."

At the mention of his imperfectly perfect family, Roxas snapped.

He jumped from his sitting position, and with cat-like precision, hauled himself at his cousin and began pulling at her perfectly gelled back hair, the two antennae that stuck out of the front of her head, hit her in the face, did everything he could that could possibly cause her harm or damage.

Eventually, her parents came back from speaking quietly with other members of the family that happened to be there at the same time, and dragged the raging blue-eyed boy off of her, ranting on and yelling. But he couldn't hear. He knew what they were saying.

'_You're a failure, just like they were, that's how you're going to end up, in the ground, like they are_.'

And frankly, he was tired of hearing it, over and over.

With a snort, the blond pulled away from them, running off without a glance backwards to see the now bewildered family, and their scathed daughter, with no thought to where he was going, or no thought to care.

--

After running for what seemed like forever, and probably was a good few miles, he leaned against the wall of a brick building, huffing and panting, taking in his surroundings. '_Great. I'm lost._' Was his first though, upon seeing the part of Hollow Bastion that he wasn't particularly used to. He was a Twilight Town boy, born and raised. His family had only moved here when he started middle school. The move had impacted his entire life, or that's what he had liked to claim every time another box was sealed, as if it were his fate.

This place, Hollow Bastion, was huge. Large buildings were everywhere, among with large amounts of people. That was probably why his parents moved here, he found himself thinking bitterly. Lots more going on, less time to notice anything really _happening_.

Deciding not to dwell, he dusted off his black attire, shoving his hands in his pockets before he walked down the sidewalk. No one even offered a sparing glance, not so much as a smile. This wasn't something he was used to. Twilight Town, being the small town it was, everyone knew everyone else, and their business as well. It was common for somewhat of a stranger to wave to another, smile, and ask how they were doing. Everything here was so quickly paced, people wanted to get places, and get there fast.

He walked, and walked, until his feet grew tired, and the sun had long before set. The sun that had shown so brightly on the city, now rested, for another day, and another, and another. The feeling of being alone etched into the back of his mind, for now it was true more than ever, the only thing that he was so terribly afraid of. With no home to go to, no parents, no loving words, no words of praise, no one at all…

Roxas was alone.

--

There ya go. Crappy, first chapter. :[ Yah. Flames will be ignored, creative criticism preferred by far. 3


	2. I slip

**Author Notes**: Chapter two, here it is. OO A lot of flashbacks, so deal with me it here with me here with it with you here in ifdjaifo. XD

Disclaimers as usual, normal warnings. Changed Drama to Angst, since it seems to fit more.

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"_Happy birthday dear Roxas, happy birthday to you!"_

A loud bout of happy cheers sounded around the dinner table, kids of all ages staring at him as they waited for said blonde to blow out the 12 candles that sprouted out of the white frosting covered cake.

_After sparing a grin at all the happy faces, he blew the candles out, sending off another chain of happy shouts. From behind him, his father put a hand on his shoulder, a smile similar to the one his son, his splitting image, had. After the small and wordless show of affection, his mother came up behind the both of them with a butter knife for the cake. She went about distributing the cake to the other kids, who accepted them eagerly_

_Finally, after they all had gotten settled, a brunette from the other side of the table piped up. "Open your presents now, Roxy!"_

_Roxas glowered playfully at the brunette, in spite of the nickname. "Fine then, So-ra." He drawled out the name, a smirk forming on his lips. With his consent, most kids jumped from the table to retrieve the gifts perchased from him from their pile in the living room_

_Opening the presents had gone eventfully for the most part. His brunette cousin, Sora, had come supporting some new Xbox game he had never heard of before, and set that alongside the large pile of video games. He frowned a little, feeling a bit down. Although his family wasn't exactly poor, they didn't have a lot of money. They had enough money to get provide food, clothes on their backs, and food in their stomachs. The luxuries like game consoles and movies and those kinds of things weren't exactly something Roxas had the pleasure of enjoying._

_One game in particular, though, had almost made him gag. Some children's bible story game, with many different stories from said book._

_His family wasn't particularly religious._

_Finally, the last gift came from his parents. The packaging wasn't much different from the other gifts, box-like with pretty wrapping paper that was only going to get destroyed at the hands of some 12-year-old boy. And as expected the decorative paper was thrown off the box. Roxas smiled at his parents, who returned the gesture, before looking back down at the box and opening it._

_His eyes widened at the sight._

_Someone must have hinted off to Sora that the present would be an Xbox 360, or else his cousin wouldn't have bothered to get him any game. So when blue eyes met with the said 360 box, they quickly glanced at his parents, who wore hopeful expressions that he had liked his gift._

_Blue eyes glanced back down at the box, the confusion quickly replaced by happiness as he gave his parents a genuine smile._

"_Thanks, mom, dad."_

--

He was so young back then. Too young, to understand that they had randomly gotten money from an unknown place; Roxas hadn't contemplated it until the night when he heard their heated whispers from their room, obviously making an attempt to not let him hear.

--

'_This is really a bad idea, Adrian."_

_Once he heard the use of his father's name in such a sentence, Roxas's full attention was brought to his parents' conversation._

_He heard a sigh, obviously from his father. Really, these walls were made of paper, Roxas couldn't help but think. He set down the now sweaty 360 controller, dismissing the paused game of Halo 2 he was in the middle of in favor of eavesdropping on his parent's discussion._

"_But Claire, look at how happy he was. How happy we are, and how happy we're going to be once we…" his voice died off to a whisper that Roxas couldn't hear, but this certainly grabbed his attention more than anything. What were they speaking about exactly?_

"_That's not the point! What will happen to US, Adrian? You know how these kinds of things go. They never have happy endings, never!" His mother's voice raised an octave the more upset she got, and Roxas could tell that his father was trying to calm her down with his own voice and possibly himself, but it wasn't working. _

_Roxas stared at the wall with furrowed brows, before he pressed his ear to its bumpy surface._

"…_I'll take care of us. We can do what we had planned, remember? And with us there, it'll be easier for us to do business. And remember what we said? We won't ever touch the stuff. All we need to do is…"_

_And that's where the voice became too hushed to hear; too quiet between the barrier that Roxas just sat there in confusion with his head leaning against the door._

_He wouldn't know what was going on until the next day._

_The next day, he woke up. The smell of breakfast downstairs woke him, but he didn't get up right away. Instead, he opted for laying there, thinking over what he had heard the previous night once his memory flooded back to him. After figuring he wasn't getting anywhere soon, he sat up sluggishly and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes._

_Standing, Roxas dragged himself downstairs and to the kitchen, sitting down in front of his dad who was currently reading from The Twilight Paper. He didn't even look away when he said, "Roxas. We have news for ya. Big news."_

_His mom smiled at him warily, obviously having a hard time holding in her real emotions. "Yes, dear…"_

_Roxas was dreading this._

_He stared down at the eggs, sunny-side up, just like he liked them. The plate they had been served on had a few chips and nicks, he noted. They might have needed new ones soon, better ones. In a weak voice, he asked what they were going to tell him._

_With a sparing glance at his wife, Adrian looked back at his spitting image, his smile never faltering. "We're moving. To Hollow Bastion, you know, in--"_

"_I know where it is." Roxas suddenly interrupted, a glare seeping into his face. And indeed he did; Hollow Bastion was a big, bustling city. He heard lots of rumors about it. Prostitutes, drugs, strip clubs, gangs, people on the streets, that sort of thing. And honestly, he wasn't happy. But of course, his dad looked so happy. He couldn't say no to him, so he instead chose to send icy stares at his food and not say anything._

Even if it hadn't have changed anything, he wished that he had now.

--

Sorry these chapters are going so slow. They're going to get better, promise. XD I just need to get all the introduction crap out of the way. : And then we'll introduce Axel sooner or later. XD And… Yeesss. The rest is a secret! Bye until next time! Review please!


	3. I climb

A/N: Usually disclaimer, blah, blah. XD Thank you to my reviewers! And you know, secrets make friends. And they're good secrets! So, no worries. Let's see if this chapter can get longer than my other ones!

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The night dragged on, but the life of the city was more powerful than ever. The neon lights of the signs flashed mockingly in his face, reminding him of why he was here and not in the quiet town he belonged in, with his family. Hollow Bastion was so far away from Twilight Town. The more the thought about the city, the more bitter he felt. He hated it here.

He walked along the sidewalk, hands shoved in the pocket of his black hoodie, the one he had worn to the funeral. A few catcalls were made, but he ignored those for the most part.

'_Fucking freaks.'_

Nothing particularly caught his eye, until he saw a figure on the curb. She seemed to be fussing with her shoe, and when he got closer to her, he saw that the heel on it had broken off. He also noticed that her soft, red hair was slightly mused, her clothes disheveled. A thin brow rose at her appearance, and he approached her out of the curiosity in his heart.

Once he reached her, she glanced up at him with big, blue eyes. They were puffy and red, as if she had been crying earlier before. Instead of talking, he opted for sitting next to her for a moment before he took a chance to speak. She didn't seem to mind his presence, and went about fixing herself up.

Roxas finally took up the chance to speak, glancing at her in the corner of his eye. "…What happened to you?" he asked in a soft voice, earning a chuckle from the girl sitting next to him.

"You're terrible at introductions, you know." She murmured back, deciding that the shoe was too badly damaged to fix, and took off the other one to break the heel off of it as well, using the edge of the sidewalk to do so. Afterward, she put both shoes on and started adjusting her hair.

The blonde paused for a second, before starting again, "I'm Roxas." This time, he made direct eye contact with her, or as much as he could considering she was staring straight ahead of her now, a dazed look on her face. She seemed far away, in her own little world possibly.

With a flutter of her eyelashes, he could tell she had heard her. So, she looked back at him with her blue eyes, ones equally as blue as his own. "The name's Kairi." Came the informing response, and a small smile briefed upon her chapped lips. Once she really looked at him, turning her whole body to him, his mouth formed a small 'o.' She wore tight, denim pants, the fabric a dark shade of blue. The pants stuck to her legs, accenting the curves, yet the skinniness in them as well. In said clothing there were various cuts and holes, all looking rather fresh. And in the dark, he could vaguely see the reddened wetness that surrounded the tears. The top of her didn't look much better off; her tube top was ripped right across the front, the navy blue of it was hardly recognizable, the cut in the shirt being surrounded by the same, eerie red color.

Sensing his staring at her obvious wounds, the girl, Kairi, chuckled.

"Don't worry about those." She offered with a smile now, although it seemed slightly pained. "Dunno if you would know or not, blondie, but the business? It's hard." A hollow laugh left her red lips, which Roxas found that the lips had a bit of lipstick smeared past the lip line.

After thinking over her words, realization hit him, and he figured out what she meant by 'business.'

Kairi continued, running her fingers over the cement they sat on. "Some guy, ain't satisfied that he's gettin' some at all, even if it's from someone like me, and has to go and…" her words died down slightly, as though she remembered exactly what had happened, fresh in her mind. Roxas felt bad for her. "…It must have been some weird fetish. Like, 'hey! Let's go find a hooker and beat her, then have sex with her unconscious body.'" She shook her head, a disgusted look covering her face. Once she wrinkled her nose, Roxas saw a few freckles dotting the bridge of it.

She shook her head, obviously wanting a good change of subject.

"So what about you, eh blondie?" Kairi seemed fond of her little nickname for him, and although there was a smile on her face, her eyes told a different story. "What's your story?"

Suddenly, he remembered why he was out here in the first place. His parents, the funeral, him being lost… it all flooded back to him. "So are we telling stories now or somethin'?" he asked almost bitterly, glaring at the pavement in front of him.

"Whatever you want, doll," Kairi laughed into her hand, a small, tinkling sound.

Roxas shook his head. How could he tell his tale to some _hooker_ he just _met_? But she seemed so nice, and he was feeling so down that it was more like… hey, why not? He wouldn't last much longer anyways. He didn't have a house, food, shelter, anything. And the sky was starting to take a darker toll then the normal navy blue, the stars and moon no longer present behind looming clouds. If he was found at all by anyone, chances were he was going to be put in a home. He didn't want that. He had heard stories, how kids got abused, raped, put to do nothing but clean and chores and then belittled for everything, put down.

Roxas wouldn't stand for that.

Just when he was going to open his mouth and speak, a car pulled up to the street they sat on, a nice, sleek car that Roxas could only imagine how much it must have cost. A silent gasp left his lips as saw what brand it was; he wasn't familiar with cars or anything, but he was smart enough to know that his father had that same brand of car…

Roxas's blue hues went wide when he saw the car that pulled up into his driveway. It was new looking, fresh. And when he saw that his father was the one driving it after the car came to a halt and he stepped out, the blonde's mouth fell open.

"_Dad! How'd you… where'd that… who's …" Questions came, one after the other, but never in full sentences, as Roxas was just too amazed by the car itself. The sun shone on it, as if to show off how great it was, the color of blood. _

_His mother came out onto the driveway, staring at the car as well. Except her surprised expression was more shocked than anything. "Adrian… you didn't…"_

A while after that incident, Roxas had been told that him and his family were moving to Hollow Bastion. Hollow Bastion was so, so far away from his town of Twilight Town. And the sizes were both extremes as well; Hollow Bastion a bit metropolis, and Twilight Town was a town that almost no one knew about.

Before he realized it, a hand was shoving out a piece of paper to him. It was Kairi's hand, and she was already standing, a strained smile on her face. He took the paper, and she opened the door to the car that had pulled up, pausing to say: 

"That's where I live, blondie. Stop by sometime. The neighborhood ain't all that great, but from the looks of it…" She nodded to the area surrounding them, "You don't exactly know where you are, or where you may be goin'. I still wanna hear your story, so I expect you to come." Her voice left no room for argument, and Roxas couldn't find a reason to not accept her hospitality. Sure, her job was a bit… awkward, to say the least. But he figured that she wanted to hear his story so bad because she herself had a story that she wanted to share, one that left her with this lifestyle.

She didn't seem like the type of girl to like it, anyways.

So he gave her a mute nod, pocketing the paper that contained an address.

And with that, her smile seemed to be more genuine, and she hopped into the passenger side of the car, offering a small wave to him as the piece of metal drove off into the neon-lit night.

--

A/N: Okay so I lied. XD This chapter isn't that long. Sorry! But most of what I have planned out is the MIDDLE of this fanfiction, not so much the beginning or the end. XD That, my friends, is a problem. So, review kthnxbai!


	4. I lay here all alone

A/N: Disclaimer, thanks to you all, the works. XD Uhm, I got around to writing this and starting on the fifth installment of my fanfiction, because I've been sick at home, and I happened to take my computer with me when my mom took me to visit my grandmother. So, here it is! Enjoy

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The rest of the night for Roxas was particularly eventful.

Yes, _eventful_.

He went into a few fast food restaurants in the better parts of Hollow Bastion, watching people eat; families mostly. The little, spoiled kids, eating their Happy Meal, yelling and shouting obscenities when the fries weren't cook to their perfection, there wasn't enough orange soda in their cups, the hamburgers had pickles. They sat in their highchairs, fully aware that they had control over their parents. The parents who would bend over backwards for their children, giving them everything they wanted from an iPod nano, a PS3, a Nintendo Wii. The parents who would gladly go into debt for their children, for high school and college, cry when they said their goodbyes and helped the brat move into their dorms. The parents who would pay for the classes that weren't attended, the classes dropped, the partying, and the college dropout.

The parents who would pay for failures.

Roxas liked to believe that he wouldn't live that kind of life, oh no, not him.

Although his parents were willing to go into debt for him, he didn't want to worry them with those kinds of things. He figured he would go to school, get great grades, some scholarships possibly, do some sports (especially track and cross-country, he loved to run), and have an overall normal life.

And he was brooding now. How pathetic of him.

Leaving the Burger King he was residing in, he let his feet hit the cool pavement, a humid breeze playing with his blonde spikes. The black clothing and his hoodie were growing surprisingly warmer by the minute. He tugged the bottom of said hoodie upwards, discarding it and holding it at his side. Underneath it was a form-fitting black shirt, covering another longer shirt with black and gray checkers. He wore black pants, and his traditional checkered wristband with his two black and white tapered fingers.

"Lookin' good there, baby!"

"Whoo! Take it off!"

"Why don't you bring that over my way?"

Did the catcalls just get worse as the night went on, or was it just him?

Deciding it was best to ignore them (he heard stories about those who fought back; they got raped and beat), he let his feed carry him towards another restaurant. This one wasn't a Burger King or McDonalds though; it had more of a homey feel to it. Even if the windows were barred, and the sign with the restaurant's name beyond recognition, he couldn't help the smile creeping up on his usually dull face at the thought of a family-owned restaurant.

Without further thought, he stepped into the place, a blast of air-conditioned heaven caressing his sweat-dampened face. He didn't even realize how warm he was until he tasted the bliss that was fresh air.

A small bell chimed when he entered, as if announcing his presence to those in the restaurant; which wasn't much. A couple in the corner, what appeared to be business men on the other side of the restaurant, isolating themselves for the sake of the serious conversation they seemed to be having.

There were no waitresses or manager in eye-sight, so he took a seat in the table furthest away from the couple, a table for two around ten steps away from the men talking in hushed voices.

They gave him a few quick stares, before going back to their business, dismissing his existence as they leaned across the table and continued the heated argument.

Roxas didn't bother listening. He opted for staring out the window, watching another prostitute walk up to a car, this one more beat up then the one Kairi had gotten into. For some reason, a nag of guilt ate at his stomach for labeling them as such. They were making a living, doing what they thought would be best, right? So what right did he have to use such a derogatory name for them? No one belittled bankers, called them money thieves. No one said a massage therapist's job was just another reason to feel someone up. All they did was please; and get paid.

Good for them.

'_Maybe I should be a hooker…_' he thought to himself, a small smile crossing his face at the thought. How humorous.

A voice woke him from his reverie though.

"What can I get you, dear?"

Startled, he looked up at a young woman. Her hair was a chocolate brown, cascading down her shoulders. Her green eyes smiled at him, as did her full lips. At one end of the smile, a dip went into her cheek, forming one dimple.

"I uh… Don't know if I have enough money for anything…" he mumbled feebly, a small blush dusting over his cheeks in embarrassment from his lack of money. Way to go, Roxas. You're such a smooth talker.

She uttered a small 'oh,' before looking back and forth, before smiling down at him tenderly.

"Well, let's see... I'll get you something from the back, on the house. How does that sound?"

Almost amazed that she had offered, he gave a quick nod. He hadn't noticed how hungry he was until that very moment.

With a smile and a nod, she had disappeared behind the counter of the restaurant.

Roxas turned back to stare at the chipping wood on the table, scratching idly at it with his thumbnail. Some of the baby blue and white checkers built up under his nail, and he picked at it away. Next to him, he noticed the voices of the men getting a bit louder. He could hear frustration in them.

"Someone needs to keep him under control."

"He's a monster."

"He does good business, there's nothing we can do. You know he has connections with the cops, his boytoy being one and all."

What a curious conversation, Roxas found himself thinking. But then again, with this city, he had heard a few of these kinds of conversations. My hooker isn't making enough money, boohoo. Yeah? Well, kill her, throw her body into the ocean that lead you to Destiny Islands. Save yourself the money of having to support another dead-end whore.

It was when they started mentioning other things that made Roxas frown, though. Most of the words were hushed now, but he could get the general picture.

"Come on, … he's out of control… needs therapy… that couple he killed? …funeral today…"

Roxas couldn't take it anymore. He knew what they were talking about. They were talking about _his_ _parents_. The man who killed his parents. What would the chances be? He walks into some random restaurant, and he just happens to find men talking about the _thing_ that had not happened to long ago, the devastating _thing_…

He stood up, slamming his hands onto the table. The men were a bit startled at the sudden outburst, but kept their cool otherwise. They stared at him with blank eyes, and if Roxas weren't so anger-driven, he would have been scared.

"Who is he?!" the blonde hissed, glaring at them with pale, cold blue eyes. The same eyes that resembled the ocean surrounding Destiny Islands.

The men stared at him, then each other. A few glares, a few snickers. The obvious amusement only made him angrier than before.

One man stood, standing out from the rest. Blue met blue, except this man's ocean of blue was cold, like it had always been cold. He had had a tough life, Roxas could tell. The small wrinkles forming around his eyes, the bags under the eyes. If you took him in all at once, he wasn't too bad looking, even the 14-year-old Roxas could agree with anyone on that. A few piercings dotted up his ears, a few loops, a few diamond studs. The thing that caught Roxas's eye was the ace card tucked into the front pocket of his shirt.

"Mind your own business kid, for your own good." The blond man added, rubbing the bottom of his chin that was covered in stubble. He was obviously fond of it.

"I know what you're talking about." Roxas said, eyes flaring, "My parents. _MY_ parents. Please, tell me who…"

But he couldn't continue. A man walked into the room, glaring at all of them with dark blue eyes that seemed indigo in the terrible lighting of the restaurant. Roxas could have _sworn_ his hair was _pink_, but he didn't even get the chance to think further on it before said man barked out orders for the men at the table to leave.

"What did I tell you about coming here? All you do is cause trouble, Luxord! You and your little gang! Get out!"

He pointed towards the door with a slender finger, looking quite frightening. The blond was glad that none of this was directed towards him.

The blond, Luxord, mumbled a few protests, but the look the pink-haired man gave him made him silence immediately. He picked up his things, his posse following, and they all left.

After a few moments of silence, Roxas took the time to look at the restaurant again. It was empty now, aside from the man and himself. The girl from before was standing next to him, nervously chewing on her bottom lip.

Finally, turned his gaze to Roxas.

"You," he started slowly, though his tone was completely different. "…They were your parents." It was a statement, not a question, but Roxas decided to nod his answer anyways.

He gave a humorless laugh, running a hand down his face. He looked exhausted.

"They were my friends." He drawled out, leaning against the counter with the cash register. "My name's Marluxia, by the way."

Friend? Roxas had never seen him before, this 'Marluxia.'

He had vowed that if he had met any of his parents' friends, he would ask them tons of questions about what happened, who did it, how, why. But now that one was actually here, standing in front of him, he couldn't think of anything to ask. All the questions that had been swimming in his head were now gone.

A humorless snort was heard, coming from Marluxia. "What's with the look?"

Roxas flushed a bit in embarrassment, covering his face with his hands. He just shook his head.

Marluxia sighed, staring at Roxas, obviously looking over the blond now, sizing him up.

"Look, kid," he said, "I bet you want to know a lot. And I have to tell ya, your parents don't really want you to know anything." This earned a small glare from Roxas, but Marluxia continued, "They said, if anything happens, don't tell Roxas. You're Roxas, aren't you?" He earned a nod, "That's what I thought. But ya know what? I don't think that's right. I think you have some sort of _right_ to know."

Roxas felt a bit better with this information, waiting.

"The… guy's name is Saix." Marluxia started out, pausing as if he was going to say more. But he said nothing.

"…is that it?" Roxas arched a brow, arms crossing over his chest. Sure, it was a start. But it was just a name in the end.

"That's it." Marluxia sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

The girl next to him spoke up, smiling a little. She was nervous. "Nee, Roxas… I think you should leave now. It's about closing time." She held up a paper bag, offering it to him.

Roxas didn't need to be told twice.

With the name in mind, he grabbed his hoodie and the bag (which he later found out contained food), and left the restaurant with a bang.

Now, the only place to go was to Kairi's. The address was tucked safely into his pocket, and it felt warm against his upper thigh. Food and hoodie in one hand, he took the paper out with the other, examining it. Kingdom Street, Kingdom Apartment Complex, room 8.

And with that information stored in his head, he slipped in his hoodie and walked along the sidewalk towards where his destination could be.

--

A/N: Could have been better. This is the longest chapter by far though. XD So I like it. I hope you do too! Review plz.


	5. Reaching for your hand

A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers, though Bubblegum Head and Summerlea are two of my favorites. Kitty Lurv is pretty nifty too. XD I DO LOVE YOU ALL THOUGH. I just felt like pointing them three out. You rock my world, baby.

--

Once Roxas had found the apartment complex, he wasn't surprised with the appearance. Beat up brick, shady windows, trash littering the brown weedy lawn. It was exactly what he had imagined.

He entered the building, climbing the stairs towards the designated floor, to the room number. Once he reached it, he stared at it. Knocking on the door would probably be a good idea. But honestly, he didn't know why he came, or what he expected.

Deep down, he didn't want to admit that even deeper down, he didn't want to be alone.

Without further thought, he rapped on the door with his white knuckles. He didn't even notice his hands were shaking.

Music was coming from said apartment. Loud, dark sounding in the least. Eccentric, undefined. He liked it. He knocked again, louder this time. The blond knew he had gotten someone's attention, because the music had stopped, and a voice complained from the inside, followed by a male-sounding laugh.

The door swung open, revealing a girl with dark hair. Said hair was disheveled to say the least, her ever so slightly tanned face showing growing annoyance. Though his eyes were drawn to her clothes, or lack thereof. Her white wife beater was see-through, showing her large breasts. Roxas wasn't going to lie. Those things were _huge_. The black shorts she wore were… well, _short_. And tight. It was a wonder she could fit into them.

"Yeah, whatdo'ya want?" She barked out suddenly, almost making him flinch. Almost.

Instead of stalling to further piss her off, Roxas shuffled his feet and stared behind her; tried to see the inside of the apartment.

"I-I'm here to see-..."

He didn't even finish his sentence, before the female (who looked at least 24), turned on her heel to glare at whomever was in the room with her.

"You fucking manwhore!" She screeched, her voice cracking with a hint of a slur. She was drunk.

Another calm, collected and even haughty chuckle caught Roxas's ears. "Tifa, calm-…"

"Don't you tell me to calm down!" she said, slamming her fist on the door. The piece of flimsy wood cracked on contact, and was completely ajar now.

Roxas couldn't help but stare at what it revealed.

Besides the messy apartment, a redhead was revealed, sitting on a couch. He leaned against the arm it with his legs propped up, one on the other, dangling towards the other end of it. A pair of loose, black jeans covered his legs, and hugged at his hips. They were cutoff almost dangerously low. Red hair was spiked back (it looked natural to the blond) and brushed against his naked, pale torso nicely. Said torso was nicely accented with a bit of muscle, making him look less lanky than he could have with a shirt on. The thing that caught Roxas's attention though was the almost neon green eyes that rested upon him, the eyes that looked him up and down, undressed him.

The girl, Tifa, continued to bellow and shout, but the redhead didn't seem to mind. Roxas didn't notice either. The way the redhead stared at him made him feel uncomfortable to say the least… but he found that he couldn't dislike the feeling. He got attention, even if it was from a total stranger and he was a guy… it was attention he had been craving for a long time. Roxas noticed then that he had dark, strangely shaped tattoos on his face, almost like diamonds. '_How would anyone let someone put a tattoo on them so close to their eyes_…'

"Axel!" Tifa finally shouted, breaking the reverie. "Have you even been _listening_ to me?!"

Roxas made a note that he himself had not been listening to her, and the only thing that caught his attention was the fact that the drunk woman had used the redhead's name.

Axel.

Axel turned his eyes to her. They glinted dangerously, as if daring her to say more. Roxas felt a bit out of place, wondering if this was even the right apartment. What if Kairi had written the wrong one? Before he could continue his worried thoughts, Axel spoke in a husky, low voice.

"Tifa, get out."

His eyes dared her to protest, which she had opened her mouth with that full intention, only to have it closed again.

"Asshole," she muttered, grabbing her coat and purse nearby. She pushed her way passed Roxas, roughly shoving him against the doorframe. He let out a small grunt, feeling the wood dig into his back. It was probably going to be bruised by the end of the night.

Before she completely disappeared down the hall, she threw a few small square shaped packets at his feet.

"Safety first, kid." She glared hatefully at him. It obviously wasn't meant to be a joke. And he didn't laugh, didn't bend over to pick up the objects; he only returned her fiery gaze with a cool, nonchalant one of his own. She turned with a snap of her dark hair, disappearing around the bend of the hallway.

He didn't look away from that spot until an amused voice called him from the apartment.

"Hey, kid. What exactly do you want? You kinda ruined my chance there." This made Roxas turn, only to glare at the redhead.

"I didn't do anything," he defended, "You could have told her. I'm here for Kairi."

At the mention of the girl's name, Axel seemed to visibly stiffen, his face losing all humor. "…So, what. You one of her clients or somethin'?"

Roxas, immediately catching onto the situation, shook his head quickly. "No, no, no!" He made a face. He wasn't exactly into hookers, no matter how nice they were. "I'm a…new friend." The word 'friend' sounded strange on his tongue, but he kind of liked it. It meant he wasn't alone anymore. It was a reason to cover up that ever so lonely feeling he got when the thought of the fact that his parents were gone, and his family didn't want a screw-up; if they took him in, he'd only ruin it with 'the drugs he no doubt had on him still from them.'

"New friend."

It was a statement, not a question, but he nodded to confirm it all the same.

Before Axel could say anymore, the aforementioned girl came up behind Roxas, who took it upon himself to remove himself from the doorway and step a little bit inside, a smile on her face.

"Hey, you! And, blondie, you came!" Kairi's face seemed to be lighter than it had been when he'd last met her, though her appearance was the same. The blood had dried by now, and someone had taken the liberty of obviously letting her at least wash it off of her self. That remained the only difference.

"What the hell happened, Kairi?"

A dangerously soft voice from the couch asked. Roxas saw a weird look on Axel's face, realization dawning on the redhead slowly.

Kairi ignored his question, setting her rainbow sequence bag on the table, still smiling at Roxas. "Blondie, this is Axel. He's my strong big brother." She made a few gestures towards the male, who was fuming by now.

It was then that Roxas saw all the resemblances. Though there weren't many to one with a simple mind or one who didn't know they were related, but Roxas saw them. The red hair, long eyelashes, and though differently colored, the vibrant, alive eyes; both of them were quite beautiful.

"What the _hell_ happened, Kairi?" Axel all but bellowed at the girl now, pointing a long finger at the cuts and bruises all over her body. "Who did this?!"

Kairi's smile was now a bit hollow, just like it had been earlier when Roxas was with her. She refused to meet her older brother's green eyes, his furious gaze that was burning cigarette holes into her ever-shining red hair.

That gaze was slowly shifted to the silently watching Roxas.

This went unnoticed by the blond, who was too caught up in his own thoughts. He wore a blank, confused expression, his head tilted ever so slightly to the side. This whole scene was too much like a soap opera for his liking. But it wasn't too long before he noticed that the redhead was all but staring at him now, and he allowed himself to stare back. In his eyes, through all that hatred and anger, Roxas could see a trace of sadness. He was truly concerned about Kairi's condition; he was upset that his sister was hurt. Being an only child, that touched Roxas in some way.

"_You_ did this, didn't you, you little-!" Axel made a sudden grab for Roxas, the younger's blue eyes wide with surprise more than shock. Quickly, Kairi was on the defense, standing in front of Roxas. Blue eyes shimmered with tears that were set in a shaky glare. Roxas had no doubt that she was mad, but she obviously found it hard to stand up to her older brother in such a way.

"It wasn't Roxas!" she cried out, holding her hands out in front of her as if to keep the redhead away. Axel stared at her for a minute, as if regarding whether or not she could be lying to him. Roxas saw a shimmer of pity for the girl in Axel's green eyes, but otherwise, they were fierce as they were before. Without another pause in his motions, Axel grabbed her arms, tugging his sister forward. She stumbled towards him with a whimper of defeat, though she still refused to meet his gaze.

"I'm going to ask you one more fucking time, Kairi." His voice was deadly calm, eyes and body giving off the appearance that he was holding back. With his free hand, he lightly touched the ugly bruise that was on her forearm. "Who. Did. This?"

There was a choked out cry on Kairi's part, and Roxas couldn't help but feel a twinge of pity for her. He willed Axel to let her go, even beat the crap out of him. Though he wasn't exactly tight with Kairi at all and they had just met, he figured that a smiling face was best on her.

There was a strained silence, and finally, Kairi whispered the name. Roxas couldn't hear it, though Axel seemed to have, as his face contorted into one of confusion and anger, before both emotions were erased and replace with a blank kind of nothingness.

"That _BASTARD_!" Axel finally roared, releasing his now sobbing sister. Roxas immediately went to her side, rubbing her back; doing everything he could to try to comfort her. He wasn't all that good at comforting, or at least that's what he had been told. While he comforted her, he watched Axel kick the couch, throw over a table. The redhead seemed to be having fun destroying the apartment, though Roxas nor Kairi would tell him to stop. He would just turn on them.

Finally after what seemed like hours, Kairi's sobs quieted down, and Axel went back to his deathly quiet state. He was sitting on the couch now, which he had previously overturned. Roxas had to wonder when he had turned it back over. His head was in his hands, and it was obvious he was trying to calm himself down.

"I'm going to kill him," he said finally, "I'm going to kill him, Kairi."

Kairi stared at him, wide-eyed. "But… Axel, you know…"

Axel cut her off with a stern look, though his eyes seemed a bit watery. "C'mon, Kai," there was a strained, playful tone in his voice, "I've always protected you. Always, even when we were kids. If I let him slide with this…"

"You know what he's capable of, Axe." Kairi murmured, "You know who he's with. If you even try, he'll…" she trailed off, as if unable to continue the sentence.

Axel barked with laughter, a smirk forming on his face. "Hey, blondie. Take care of her for me." He stood up, grabbing a shirt nearby as he slipped it on. "I got a few people to see."

"Axel! No!" Kairi had crawled over to him, her hands clutching in the fabric of his jeans, "No, no, no…"

"Saix ain't got shit on me, Kai. I don't care who he's with, or who he knows, or what he can do." Axel was going to continue with his rant, but Roxas cut him off this time.

"Did you say Saix?" He questioned, blue eyes wide. The one the man in the restaurant had mentioned… Marluxia, that was his name. That man... it had to be the same one, right? Who else would they be talking about? He was acting on impulse when he stood up, hand on Axel's arm. "Take me with you, please! I have to go, I…" he stopped, looking helpless. If he didn't at least try to make the redhead take him with him, he knew he'd regret it forever. He didn't even know exactly why he wanted to go. Did he want to try to kill the man too? Didn't he have a right to want to?

"No way, kid." Axel sneered, though he didn't shake off the hand. "It's too dangerous. I told you, stay here with Kai. Besides, I'm not going to take him out yet. I'm not that stupid." Finally, he gently removed Roxas's hand, and grabbed a trench coat that was over the couch. After throwing it on, he patted his sister on the head and treaded out the door, closing it with a small 'snap.'

--

A/N: A little bit of a shorter chapter, I guess. There were so many hints in this chapter as to what Axel is exactly, so if you missed it, you're just dumb.

And, of course, review. The next chapter will be up sooner or later. XD Thanksgiving post, yay for meeee.


	6. And I Will

A/N: Ick, chapter six is finally up. I don't have a lot to say about it, I guess. So, enjoy, yeah?

--

The silence between the redhead and the blond was awkward to say the least. After Axel left, Kairi seemed to grow increasingly fidgety; her hands wringing in the couch beside her. Roxas didn't know what he should have said to break the silence, but found he didn't even have to. Kairi beat him to it.

"Axel…" she started out shakily, as if deciding upon her words, "He's…" she stopped, her eyes focusing on a hole in the couch. "After mom and died… we were left alone. Axel was 18 at the time. I was only 11. Our age differences… played a big role in how we treated each other," she stuck a finger in the imperfection of the couch, tugging at it self-consciously. "But he took care of me; made sure I got to school, did my homework. I guess I didn't want to though. I was mad. My parents had died, and all he cared about was school. I was little then, so I didn't… understand. We got into fights a lot."

At Kairi's sudden openness, Roxas couldn't help but be a bit overwhelmed. She seemed like she'd never told anyone this story; her voice stuttering, breaking, wavering. She stumbled to get the right words, and say the right phrases. She continued nonetheless:

"So finally, I got to high school somehow, and I quit. I dropped out." She added the last part more to herself than him, a hollow laugh emitting from her mouth. "Axel was getting money from working a lot of part-time jobs. We were miserable." Another humor-less laugh, "But… then Axel disappeared for a while." Roxas noted the finger in the hole made even bigger as the auburn-haired girl tugged harder at it. The memory of what she was saying must have played a major part in her actions. So to console her, the blond put a hand over hers. It seemed to work.

"But he came back. He was happy, and… He had money. A lot of money," she said. "He didn't tell me where he got it. To this day… he's never told me. But from time to time, he disappears like that, and comes back with more money, groceries, presents for me." She seemed a bit edgy, shifting her weight towards him a bit more. "Around the time I was 17, I started… my own thing. He wasn't happy at all… but it was a way for me to get more money. There was no way in hell I was ever going to work at McDonalds or something." Her sentence with the bitter finish told him she was done with her story, and her blue eyes were almost glassy as if she were going to cry.

"I uh…" Roxas started, licking at his dry lips. He wanted to change the subject, make her feel better, anything. "My parents died too. That guy, Saix…" He saw her eyes widen at the mention of the name, and continue to widen when he carried on in his own shaky voice. "-he killed them."

--

Axel came back later that night.

Roxas was lying on the couch, obviously not asleep. The blanket had formed a cocoon around his small body, making him squirm around in it. It was warm, too warm for the summer heat in the non-air-conditioned room. With a muttered curse, he pried the blanket away from his form.

Kairi had claimed fatigue shortly after their heart to heart talk, and gave Roxas a sheet, blanket, and pillow. He had insisted that he could sleep on the couch and there was really no problem with it. The girl had already been offering him Axel's bed, but the blond declined the offer.

Only God knows what he would have found in there if he did.

With the awkward twist and turns in the day's events, Roxas was only left to brood over them. He wouldn't call it brooding, but merely relaying. Others would say he was dwelling. Roxas did _not_ dwell. Though most of his thoughts weren't directed towards the funeral, or Kairi, or what she had said. More of it was about Axel, and not knowing why was upsetting the blond more than it should have.

He was disturbed from his thoughts when he heard a large assortment of curses that would make any pirate blush, and the fumble of the doorknob.

After the voice had hit recognition in Roxas's mind, he matched it with Axel. Said redhead was on the other side of the front door, a tinkling of keys accompanied the curses. Roxas kicked off the blue checkered blanket and went to the door, unlocking the various locks and threw it open with a twist of the knob.

Axel stood here, leaning over slightly as if he were still trying to unlock the door. He paused in his actions, head tilting upward to view a highly amused face.

"Oh, hey blondie! You still up?" He stood up straight now, maneuvering himself around Roxas to get inside the apartment.

Roxas gave a slight eye roll as he shut the door and started redoing all the locks. "Can't sleep," he said. After he completed and secured the door (which still had the crack due to Tifa's fit of anger), he turned back to the couch, seeing Axel sitting on the loveseat to the left of the couch Roxas was due to sleep on.

Axel had already pulled out a cigarette, letting it dangle from his lips as he lit it with a lighter from his pocket. It was the cheap kind, the one you find at every gas station, every store, with their multitude of obnoxious colors. Roxas caught Axel moving his hand through the fire, as if fascinated. His eyes lit up with the dance of the fire as it slowly went out, and viridian eyes darted upward to meet with ocean blue.

It might have been then that Roxas could truly say that their feelings went somewhere, at least to him. He wouldn't ever say it to the redhead.

Sitting down on the makeshift bed, he made sure to keep his eyes away from Axel's (though the man was still staring). The blond was extremely uncomfortable and hot in the face, and with these new feelings he had never really cared to show to anyone else, he felt a tad bit of curiosity.

Axel continued to play with the lighter, running his fingers over it as if it were silk and not burning. While he did this, though, his eyes were kept strictly on Roxas.

He was waiting.

And who was Roxas to deny the fact that maybe, just a little bit, the obvious obsession with fire Axel had was an undeniable turn-on?

Certainly not him. Certainly not Kairi. Certainly not his dead parents.

"You know what it's like?" Axel asked, green eyes fixed on the flame now.

"It burns," Roxas said, adverting his eyes to the flame that Axel was so fixated upon. He didn't really think too much of the question or its answer, merely going with what sounded and felt right. Fire hurt. And Roxas didn't like hurting.

With a chuckle, Axel flicked a wave towards the blond, beckoning him closer wordlessly.

And Roxas came closer.

He sat upon the loveseat next to Axel, making sure to keep his distance. Axel flicked the flame open again, doing a demonstration for Roxas with a quick glide of his palm over the fire. He then motioned for Roxas to follow suit.

And Roxas did.

While he had expected a burning sensation, he almost instinctively let out a yelp in the pain he didn't feel. Wait, _didn't_? He looked at his hand, wide-eyed. There was no burn, no reddened skin. He wasn't on fire. But instead, there was just a warm, tingling sensation. And with that feeling, he decided he wanted to feel that a little bit more.

Axel had leaned in closer by now, to where their faces were nearly touching. Roxas made a move to go back, but Axel caught him, a Cheshire cat smirk forming on his lips. A fleeting thought passed Roxas's mind, other than the ones of panic. This panic sprung from the fact that Axel was indeed at the age of twenty-five, or so Roxas recalled from Kairi's words. It also came from the fact that he wasn't that scared like he should have been; he wasn't disgusted like he should have been.

He didn't push him away like he should have been.

The redhead seemed to notice this, because while Roxas was lost in his own thoughts, lips were mashed against lips, and the blond remained in an unresponsive shock for the first moment or so. And then he felt that same, warm sensation, along with the fire where Axel touched him.

Arms wrapped around the other body, lips crushed together in a fury. Though it didn't seem that passion, love, or much of anything was in this kiss.

Maybe it was longing for acceptance, Roxas had to think bitterly as he felt a hand trail up the back of his shirt, the flesh of the hand making his own heat up and dance.

That same hand was gone as quickly as it came, and his fire was gone when Axel pushed him away suddenly, and Roxas landed on the floor with a small 'oof!'

Blue eyes met the now confused green ones of the redhead, who seemed to be having an argument with himself. There was pain in those eyes, bewilderment, and many-emotions that Roxas just couldn't place himself. The sight was baffling to say the least. Axel had his hands clenched at his sides, before the green of his eye narrowed and he stalked off from the living room to his own room.

With a slam of the door, he was gone.

--

A/N: SO UH. This chapter is completely on crack. I know. I have a huge headache, and I need to start another fanfiction [sorry! and… yeah. Just a lot of things. This one got a little rushed though, because a friend of mine bought me a bagel and made me promise to finish it. Woe is I. Review, yes?


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